Bermused, I conduct an interview with myself:What do websites like Parship offer us?
I guess they give people the opportunity to find love/companionship. I know of many people who have met lovers online, I don't think there is a problem with online-dating per se, but Parship seems to frame it in a strange way, they offer 'professional dating for professional people'.
What does that mean?
I guess it means Parship is for people who don't have time to meet non-professional people, people outside a professional context, or are not interested in non-professional people because they themselves are always working? I don't think we should criticise such people: the reality of the situation is that everyone must work a lot, the majority of their time in fact, to function in this system. Most people have to be 'professional' to exist in this society so maybe that is Parship's angle?
It sounds like you're saying that because most people are 'professional' they have trouble dating/finding a relationship?
I think the issue is the dynamic that emerges when people become automated in a society where work and money are the only value systems. There are two issues here, one being the need for "stable", legitimate, traditional relationships to maintain the economy (i.e. to create heterosexual, monogamous, nuclear families where the woman labours for free [this is simplistic, and arguably passé, but still holds on a fundamental level]). The other being the alienation that people feel not only in their work situations but - because work permeates almost every facet of life - in day-to-day/social/extra-curricular situations as well. Thus there is a collision of people feeling unable to relate to others, combined with the external expectation that states we are only legitimate subjects if coupled.
That's very complicated! Is it simply a question of lack of time these days?
Apparently Parship is 'based on 30 years of scientific research', so it would suggest they've been onto this 'problem' for a while. I would say it's more a sign of the demise of the backbone of capital (nuclear family myth) trying to cover up it's demise with yet another capitalist venture (this is the raison d'être of Capitalism and also why it's so difficult to eliminate - Capitalism reacts rapidly to every change in circumstance, it's a shape-shifter). And anyway, people have time to be on Parship so they have time not to be on Parship, I think it's just a step further in current society's assertion that we are too time-pressed to know ourselves, understand ourselves, and meet others (which I think need not necessarily be in the construct of a "Relationship") who may complement that self.
Are you saying value in the eyes of society only stems from recognition of traditional couple-status?
It's extremely simplistic but, in a word, yes. Those who don't fit into that structure are seen as (for men) either "dirty old men"/womaniser-bachelors or (for women) spinsters/promiscuous hussies. These people are really made into an Other in society's eyes. Some people may disagree, but even homosexual relationships are now being 'accepted' only if they fit into the heterosexual, capitalist model of monogamy (i.e. gay marriage, which needless to say I support despite its paradoxical nature).
Are you crazy? Why are you so cynical and negative?
I'm not negative! I'd say that I'm an optimistic cynic! I'm really still trying to get my head around all of this. But I believe we need to be aware of the structures that surround us so we can fully comprehend where we're at and realise that we can work together to end alienation and establish real community and really fulfilling relationships with ourselves and others!
Hippy.
Your mum is.
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